[ Ok, that actually does make him laugh. He's trying not to just outright lose it though, he still has to be the ~adult~ in this situation. ]

Oh god, I remember thinking like that. Then I realized that stealing the money itself is a lot easier, and, well, you get where I'm going with that story.

[ He opens the bottle on a nearby table and drinks out of it. Cups are for losers. ]

But as I'm sure you know, that's not a fun life, and you should be glad you're here. If you want to, you can put those street smarts to a decent cause. I didn't get that kind of chance when I was your age.